Holiday Stress Snowball

Sorry that I haven't posted anything in a while. I went on hiatus do to what I like to call the "Holiday Stress Snowball of Hades"

  It starts with the excitement of Halloween and the planning of costumes. So many ideas and then all of the sudden I've taken to long to complete just one costume (but, you have to admit it turned out spectacular). The proverbial snowball has been created. So the rush starts to finish it and two other costumes. The weekend before Halloween is spent taking the Princess to Trick or Treat Trails so she gets the most use out of her awesome costume. Halloween night comes and we stay up later than we would like and everyone ends up exhausted but glad its over; tummy aches and all.

A few days come and go and then I realize that it is actually November now. Crud-doodle! Birthdays... like seven of them, oh and Thanksgiving to boot. The snowball is now rolling down the hill... November is a big Birthday month for us. Not only does my father, husbands best friend, and neighbor all have birthdays in November; but Grumpy and... Crud... myself. Don't do the math I know I'm getting old. Gift shopping I go and am immediately affronted by Christmas cheer.

Oh the Christmas shopping! It burns us!

 A calendar check tells me.. Grumpy's birthday falls on Thanksgiving. Great... Snowball gains momentum. Now I have to plan out the typical over the top dinner and make sure Grumpy doesn't invite any last minute guests.

But then a miracle happens and Grumpy actually helps to make the dinner. He smokes a roast, first time ever that he has attempted anything of the sort. Even more amazingly it turn out not only edible, but down right delicious!

Seriously, for being made by Grumpy the roast was down right heavenly.

 Now I'm the type of person that Christmas shops all year taking advantage of sales, I do this mainly to avoid the frenzy of Christmas shoppers. Big crowds give me the heebie- jeebies. Decorating, wrapping and last minute gifts make the snowball grow. Christmas comes the gifts get opened and the house explodes. Ok it doesn't explode, but it sure feels like it does with the monumental aftermath left over by a two year old, wrapping paper, boxes, and *gasp* mountains and mountains of toys. The snowball is now the size of an elephant and moving about 60mph.

It takes at least 2 weeks to get the house back to some symbolism of normal. Did I mention over the Christmas holiday Grumpy gets a lot of time off and is mopping about the house, whining about how bored he is. It is very, very nerve racking. But something good came out of his boredom, he got us better internet! Woo-hoo! So most of January is dedicated to clean up. Then... dun dun dunnnnnn... We are to host a party for two of Grumpy's co-workers who are leaving. Excuse me while I narrowly escape being crushed by the snowball. Don't get me wrong hosting a party isn't a big deal, but we have certain standards that our house has to meet before we let people come over. So let me introduce you to:

The Knotted DEFCON House Code
Green- The House has been q-tip cleaned and sanitized from top to bottom; the Pope may have even kissed the floors. Everybody is allowed in.
Yellow- The floors may not have been mopped in a while and there is a scattering of toys in every room, other then that the house is generally clean. Only good friends and family allowed in.
Brown- The house is a general mess, dishes in sink, floors unswept and sticky, piles of laundry(some clean, some not). But one room is acceptably clean, usually the entryway room. People may come in, but may not leave the "safe" room. Need to use the bathroom? The nearest gas station it 7 miles away, good luck.
Black- Nothing is where it should be as a Category 5 Toddler Tornado has landed, there is not a surface in the house that isn't sticky and needs to be wiped down with bleach, and that smell?! The one where you could be hoarding a  few dead bodies or the trash can is full of diapers that have been subjugated to a month of Indian food and then left to ferment... Nothing short of a full scale exorcism is going to get it clean. Yeah, nobody is allowed in, not even emergency workers. I may be dying, but I'll be darned if anyone sees my house like that. Just set fire to the house and cremate me with the mess.

So the House needed an over hall cleaning to be acceptable for Grumpy's co-workers, their family and friends. The snowball now looks like the Death Star by the way. Cooking and cleaning for people I barely know or have never meet and then having most of them not show up. Critical mass almost reached. So I took the month of February off to avoid commiting a mass murder, plus the Princess is actually being cooperative with potty training. We are down to the average of one accident a day.  But I will try to post more often in the coming months.

So how did your Holiday season go?

~Knotted