Surprise!

Wednesday night Grumpy came home looking like he was cracked out on a 10 pack of Monsters. I could almost see his skin crawling. I've never seen him act or look anything like it. After letting him rant for over an hour he finally told me why... Or rather showed me....

When he was getting ready to head home this monstrosity popped out as he was putting the key in the ignition. The way Grumpy describes it this centipede popped out, lovingly caressed his hand and said "Oh, Haaaay, here I am!"

Which lead to Grumpy doing this...

 

For those of us who aren't entomologists, that bug is a Giant Desert Centipede and happens to be toxic. Grumpy is by no means a pansy. He has served in warzones, slept through artillery fire and changed the Princess's first poopy diaper. So he jumped right back into the car and tried to get it out. But it liked it in there and didn't want to come out! After all Princes ZaZa had been the sole food supplier for a metropolitan city of pigmies that resided in the back seat. So it crawled INTO the steering wheel.

So what does Grumpy do? He try's to pry it out with his Leatherman. It escapes to the floor and like Speedy Gonzales zips up under the dash amongst the wires. Grumpy says that he flipped the Leatherman open like a switch blade and started to bang it around under the dash trying to knock the thing out. He managed to get him down and trap the centipede's middle under a Taco John's cup. That's right, its front end and back end were hanging out by several inches. He then proceeded to stomp it. But, hey, Speedy Gonzales remember? It disappeared underneath the floor mat. Grumpy kept stomping in hopes that he might impale it upon the grips on the back of the mat. Grumpy lifted the mat to see if he managed to kill it. Nope! It Houdinied it self into parts unknown.

All of this took place over a span of 55 minutes in the parking lot of Grumpy's work. So now the people who work with him think he lost his mind. After extensive searching Grumpy began to wonder if someone had slipped him some acid and he had actually lost his own mind. That was the only reason he took the photo's that he did. He decided to go ahead and chance the drive home. After he told me all of this I didn't know whether to laugh at him or set the car on fire. One good thing did come out of his brush with the centipede, the car got cleaned. I seriously wish I had thought to take a picture of the inside of our main vehicle before it was cleaned. But even if I had I don't know if I would have posted it. It was bad, so, so very bad...

Just so everyone understands how BIG this thing was, here is a side by side photo comparison.









That's roughly 8" long people, even though Grumpy swears it was bigger. Hopefully the thing is actually out of the car. Fingers Crossed.

~Knotted